Chelsea Melini
Chelsea Christine Melini is the ex-fiancé of Charlie Harper and one of the few women he has actually loved. She debuts in Season 6, her relationship with Charlie is the main story-arc of the season's second half and most of Season 7. History with Charlie Chelsea comes from a background which is very conservative and also racist. Her mother Martha is a racist and a homophobe. Her dad Tom, who is a Navy veteran, seems to be the same but it is later revealed in Season 7 that he has been in love with a man, his old Navy buddy Edward Boyton, for many years. One of her cousins is a prostitute. She is a rich woman, owning several properties in affluent areas. She is the first woman Charlie confessed his love to without prompting. He says this nearly by accident but claims he meant it. She first appears in Season 6, having already dated him for a while. At first, Chelsea was another one of Charlie's one-night stands but it soon evolved into a relationship. She debuts in "Pinocchio's Mouth" where she insists on Charlie spending a night at her apartment with her and feels justified since she's been coming over to his place for three weeks in a row. He feels hesitant but agrees. At the apartment however, he has several issues while trying to sleep and accidentally steps on her cat Sir Lancelot when he tries to leave, causing Chelsea to kick him out and become upset. Charlie convinces her to giving their relationship another chance. When he makes too many adjustments for her sake, she decides to spend nights at his home instead. Charlie becomes involved in a serious relationship with Chelsea by the time of I'd Like to Start with the Cat, but she becomes upset after realizing due to the same routine he follows whenever she comes over and due to how little he is interested in knowing about her. He and Chelsea agree to couples' counselling from Linda Freeman in order to sort out their issues, however Charlie feels humiliated after it as he is repeatedly confronted with his shortcomings and insecurities by both her and Linda. Chelsea leaves for Sanata Barabara in She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime to attend the funeral of her ex mother-in-law. Charlie feels hesitant in cheating on her with Wanda who passes out from over-drinking. She returned after her ex-husband Alex tried to put the moves on her and Charlie tries to unsuccessfully get rid of Wanda who unexpectedly wakes up and walks in on him and Chelsea who were having sex. In The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'? she is amazed when Charlie accidentally admits that he does love her but she only says thank you. Charlie becomes anxious thinking it unbalanced the relationship. He takes her out on a date and slips a diamond ring into her glass of wine which she accidentally swallows. Charlie informs her about it and has her admit that she loves him too. She excretes out the ring by the end of the episode, while amazed at the ring. Though he is engaged by now, Charlie requests Rachel to send topless photos of herself which Chelsea finds out in "The Two Finger Rule". She leaves and Charlie tries to mend their relationship but his attempt goes sideways as he keeps lusting at Rachel's nude images, though they patch it up by the next episode. It is shown that he genuinely cares for her in "My Son's Enormous Head" when he decides to take care of a sick Chelsea because typically he would have dumped an ill woman he slept with. After she recovers, Charlie himself gets sick in return and she takes care of him. It is revealed in "Hello, I am Alan Cousteau" that her mom Martha is a stereotypical homophobic white supremacist when Charlie invites her over in revenge for her trying to develop a friendly relationship with his mom Evelyn who he heavily resents. Afterwards, she and he mutually agree to not interfere with their mothers. She later encountered Rose many times who was actually stalking her, but Chelsea believed they were just chance encounters and is not aware that she already knows the Harpers. They became good friends by the time of "Above Exalted Cyclops" and she set up a blind-double date with both brothers who decide not to inform Chelsea about Rose's past with Charlie. She decides to move in with Charlie in "Sir Lancelot's Litter Box". Charlie however is resistant to the idea and she decides to leave. They reconcile after he agrees to her moving in but didn't like the changes she made to her room, they however make up after Alan convinces him. She rents out her apartment but unbeknownst to her, the tenant is Charlie himself. After Charlie's ex-girlfriend Mia meets him in Season 7's episode "818-jklpuzo", she convinces him to help out with her singing career. Charlie feels emotionally conflicted but eventually rejects Mia and chooses Chelsea. She pressurizes Charlie to let Melissa move into his house in "Whipped Unto The Third Generation", though he leaves after Alan and Melissa organize a party without his permission. Alan tells the women that he's in charge now that Charlie's gone, but is kicked out by them. The two hatch a plan and have Evelyn tell Chelsea that Melissa once slept with Charlie, causing them to have a fight and Chelsea temporarily leaving. In "Mmm, fish. Yum.", she gets worried after Sir Lancelot runs away but Jake and Charlie believe they ran over it. They keep it a secret from her and hide the dead cat's body but Lancelot returns. Jake and Charlie also find out it was another man's cat they ran over. She and Jake start developing issues in their relationship in "Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator", but later realize it's due to Charlie constantly insulting one in front of the other constantly and make him apologize. She decides to undergo a breast-reduction surgery in "Give Me Your Thumb" on advice of Alan to solve the problem of her back-pain, but calls it off when Charlie points out that it'll attract more attention to her larger butt. She and Charlie settle for a wedding on June 26 at the Bel-Air Hotel in "Untainted by Filth". Unknown to her, Charlie cheated on her by having a threesome along with Betsy and Alan. However, Chelsea had a colorful history with the circus. In"Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.", she invites her best-friend and college roommate Gail over who is heartbroken over being dumped by her boyfriend. Charlie struggles to resist his lust for Gail but manages to get her to leave by fooling Alan into hitting on her. In "Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair", Charlie finds out that Chelsea's been faking orgasm and thinks it's his fault. He later finds out that she was distraught over Brian marrying another women which may be affecting her sex life. They work things out and she finally has an orgasm in bed with Charlie. In That's Why They Call It "Ball Room", she convinces Charlie to take dance lessons for their marriage but becomes upset after finding out that she didn't tell him that she owned several expensive properties. He storms out of the bedroom later and says he'll sleep on the ocuch. She tries to mend their relationship with sex and lies naked on the couch believing Charlie was sleeping there. However, it was Alan she lay next to and she becomes horrified after finding it out. She becomes angry at Charlie in "Warning, It's Dirty" for convincing Jake to cheat on Celeste and mocks his notorious infidelity at the Christmas dinner. In "Yay, No Polyps!", Charlie undergoes a colonoscopy to avoid meeting her parents, but she already the truth and informs him that her parents are coming over while he is about to undergo the procedure. Her dad it turns out is actually in love with Ed and he decides to divorce Martha. Ed and Tom's relationship annoys Chelsea. After Alan got into trouble with the law in "Crude and Uncalled For", Chelsea became attracted to an attorney named Brad, and attends his charity event. Charlie suspects that she might be cheating on him after she doesn't come back for quite a while. She leaves for her dad's house in "Aye, Aye, Captain Douche" after Charlie talks insensitively about the death of Brad's late wife and accuses her of wanting to see Brad by using another of his charity event as an excuse, leaving Charlie devasated. She later meets him at a coffee shop where she admits she is attracted to Brad, but didn't cheat on him. She however leaves when a drunk Charlie vomits on a baby and later postpones the wedding Charlie marries Betsy to get over his misery in "Tinkle Like a Princess" but later tries to win her back after realizing he made a mistake. However, she says they should take time-off and date other people to see if they are right for each other. In "I Found Your Moustache", it is revealed that she has started dating Brad and encounters Charlie in a movie theatre. Charlie goes to her home to see if they are having sex, but she ends up going to Charlie's house, saying she misses him and they hook up. However she leaves the next day saying she's still not sure about their relationship. She goes on a vacation to Mexico with Brad in "Ixnay On The Oggie Day" but dumps him after she realizes he's too much of a "mama's boy." She tries to get back with Charlie but storms off after he admits that he slept with Gail. After realizing she over-reacted, she apologizes to Charlie but leaves again after realizing that he's still sleeping with Gail. When Charlie took marijuana and envisioned many of his ex-girlfriends in "Gumby with a Pokey", Chelsea was among them. In the Season 7 Finale "This Is Not Gonna End Well", she invited Alan to her birthday party which Charlie initially disapproved of but later told him to go otherwise she'll realize he prevented Alan from going. He had Jake drive him to Ed's house and made him give Chelsea a diamond necklace which he had brought for he months before, wrongly assuming it was her birthday. She became sad and decided to leaves the party while also taking Skipper for a walk. While seeing her in the mirror, Charlie hastily tried to get away but got arrested after crashing into a police car. In "Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt", Chelsea was present at Charlie's "funeral" with many past lovers of Charlie. Here she reveals that Charlie gave her an STD. In Of Course He's Dead, Chelsea receives a check and an apology letter from Charlie. Personality and traits Chelsea unlike Charlie, is much more kind-hearted and loyal. She forgives Charlie multiple times despite him cheating on her and is friendly towards Alan whom Charlie often ridicules, even looking out for him. She also has a good relationship with Berta, Jake and Evelyn unlike Charlie. She kept a good relationship with her ex mother-in-law even after divorcing Alex. Charlie comments that whenever she laughs she makes a snorting sound which he likes. She detests Charlie's lazy lifestyle especially with her as all he does is eat, have sex or watch sports when she comes over. She also has him get rid of the camcorder he uses to record naked women who he has sex with them and stop smoking after sex. Unlike her parents, she is liberal-minded and far more sensitive to others. Appearances Trivia *She could read Charlie like a book, when he met an old one-night stand, Charlie nearly humped her into a coma to release his stress. *Her middle name was revealed in season 6, ep 15 to be Christine. *Chelsea was previously married for eight years to an Alex and was quite close to his mother, her ex-mother in law. She later attended her funeral but left sooner than expected when her ex-husband tried to seduce her while she was dating Charlie. She still has feelings for him and feels frustrated when she learns he is marrying someone else. * Her grandmother appears to be racist as well and is hard of hearing, as seen in "Untainted by Filth". She mistakes "June" for "Jew" and apparently gets offended by it as Chelsea chides her that what she said in response was terrible. * Chelsea mentions she has a brother, but doesn't mention if she has other siblings. *Alan was attracted to her but hides his feelings all through the series and acts as her good friend. *Charlie did enjoy his time with her, particularly the sex, and even states she was one of his "favorites". * She comments that she has suffered from back pain since she hit puberty due to the size of her breasts. ** Although she wanted to reduce the size, she opted to live with the pain after Charlie revealed that she had a huge behind. *The actress who plays Chelsea appears in Season 1 as a woman at the supermarket flirting with Charlie and in Season 2 as a one night stand and finally in Season 6 as Charlie's girlfriend and fiancé. *She has a pet cat named Sir Lancelot. *Charlie and Jake once ran over a cat and thought it was Sir Lancelot, to which Jake threatened Charlie with pictures, but later the cat is revealed to be owned by a large and muscular male neighbor of Charlie's. *Despite being billed as a main character in Season 7, Jennifer Taylor was still billed as a recurring character. * In Season 7, she was only absent in three episodes: "For The Sake of The Child", "Keith Moon Is Vomiting In His Grave" and "I Called Him Magoo". * Jennifer Taylor had portrayed three different characters in the series before she was given the role of Chelsea. Category:Characters Category:Main Characters Category:Season 6 characters Category:Season 7 characters Category:Season 9 characters Category:Charlie's Girlfriend Category:Divorcees Category:Season 12 characters